It was one year ago today that we had Emma's first post placement visit and the day we got the amazing news that we could adopt Chloe. I still cannot believe that it was a year ago and she has been home for almost 5 months! It is strange how the emotions that I experienced that day still feel very fresh in my mind and heart. When we first heard that Chloe existed we were very hopeful that we would be able to adopt her and in my heart she was already my daughter. We knew that because of circumstances we were already in with Emma's adoption we knew there was a possibility that we would not be able to adopt Chloe but we were very hopeful and everything was falling into place. We left for Korea in February and the morning we were to meet our Emma we got a phone call from the states that there was a problem and our chances to adopt Chloe were very slim. It was a very emotional day! Here we were going to meet one daughter and hearing that we may have lost our other daughter. That morning we met with the director of the agency in Korea to talk about the issue that had come up. It was very difficult to communicate our case but Jeremy and I both just spoke our heart and we left that morning leaving it in the Lord's hand. We left Korea with our precious Emma and our hearts were overflowing, but I admit that we left Korea feeling like we left another child behind. I was a little confused as to why this had happened. We got home with Emma and we started to settle in to our family of four. Now I know that most people that know Emma do not believe me, but she was really hard work those first few weeks. When I think back those first few weeks were some of my hardest parenting days. Many night as I was up trying to get Emma to stop crying I would convince myself that it was better that I was not adopting that other girl. I would have myself convinced that there was no way I wanted to go through this again. I would have myself believing that it was for the best. As quickly has all those reasons why it was better that I only had two children would pop in my head another thought would always replace them. I knew that I would ALWAYS wonder about that little girl. I knew that my heart would always feel a loss for the daughter that I had already claimed in my heart. So, one month after Emma's arrival we got our second daughter back and I could not imagine life without our little Chloe. 

Well, I guess this kinda a long post but I just wanted to share my feeling about today. I have also had a pretty good day. I got a lot accomplished today. I went to exercise this morning and wen to the grocery store. I got my house mostly cleaned and I am finally seeing the end to our laundry from the trip. Jeremy left today to go to Georgia for the weekend to make plans for a summer mission trip so we are on our own tonight. I have to take my dog Maggie to the vet tomorrow so Mrs. Trotter (aka Boo Boo) is coming to stay with the kids. I think Maggie will be OK but I am a little worried. We do not have the money to invest too much into her if it is something serious. Well I better go. My friend and I are walking again today and she is on her way over.