Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Cancer free for 5 years!

"So Mary and Martha sent someone to tell Jesus, "Lord, the one you love is sick." When Jesus heard this , he said, "This sickness will not end in death. It is for the glory of God, to bring glory to the Son of God."  John 11:3-4


There are only a handful of days in a persons life that forever changes who they are and how they view everything in their life. There are very few days that the events of that day leave a permanent mark on your life. Well March 3rd is one of those days for me. Five years ago I left my house in Florence, SC and made the hour trip to the hospital in Columbia knowing that I would never be the same again. I remember every detail about that day. I remember how I felt, what I was thinking, and I even remember what I was wearing. It was a very tense morning because we were not 100% sure what the doctors were going to find once they started the surgery. They were not certain that the cancer had not spread to other parts of my body. It was also a morning of a bit of disappointment. The 11 months of treatments I had complete faith that God was going to heal me. I was still trying to process that He had not healed me and that I was going to have surgery and that I would never give birth to a child. In all the hurt and confusion I came upon the very familiar passage in John 11. I had heard these truths hundreds of times. Almost everyone quotes the verse "Jesus wept" and the raising of Lazarus from the dead is always at the top of the miracle list. When I reread this passage I found hope and peace that I never knew before. I read the passage and for the first time I knew what they were feeling and I realized that Mary, Martha, Lazarus, and all their friends and family knew that Jesus could heal and they believed that the miracle was going to be Jesus healing Lazarus from his sickness. Jesus could of spoken the word and he would have been healed but in healing Lazarus from his sickness everyone would of missed the bigger miracle. I believed that my miracle was going to be Jesus healing me from the cancer. So I hung on to the truth that there was a bigger miracle in store for me. I did not know how to believe in the miracle and I did not know if I could, but I knew that I had to believe. Five years ago I never even imagined what God had in store for me. So here I am five years later thankful that I did not get the miracle I was expecting and instead I have received 3 amazing miracles. 

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